Sometimes we condemn ourselves by allowing the hurtful words, blame, and the choice that others make as if we should carry the weight of guilt in our hearts. But the truth of the matter is that people make choices every day. Whether right or wrong, each is accountable to himself. And each should not cast blame on others, parents, friends or co-workers for the choices that were made.
To some degree, metaphorically speaking we condemn ourselves everyday, by stabbing our own hearts over and over again from the pain of it all. We even make decisions based on the perception of others. For example: How they want you to live, where you should live, and with whom you should live.
Eventually, we come to the ultimate conclusion. We can keep living our lives for others in order to please others and keep others happy. Or we simply take that dagger out and live... We must live for ourselves. I don't mean in a self serving way. But you have to fight for your own happiness and well being.
Making tough choices is part of the painful process. But what is best for you or I is up to us as individuals to decide. Sometimes it means getting away from the abuser, job, person, or family member that is causing so much pain.
Sometimes, that means washing your hands of situations and people that can literally make you ill. Slowly we succumb to the verbal abuse, physical abuse, a sense of loss of self, your identity as an individual and over all well being. Living everyday to please others except yourself.
I feel that the reason abusive individuals believe they are not accountable for how others feel by the words they choose to use against us as individuals; whether it be physical, mental, social, verbal abuse is also very simple. It absolves them of any responsibility and accountability for their actions. They feel nothing for you and your suffering.
So don't allow anyone to victimize you. Take the dagger of condemnation out of your heart and LIVE! Fight for your happiness! Bring your ideas to life. Start your business. Find true love. Someone who is kind and kindhearted. Work on fulfilling your dreams - whatever that may be for you.
For me, it was writing my E-Book "My Story A Mothers Journey," fighting depression, beating cruelty, vindication in a new found strength. Realizing that I have the power to changed things.
I learned to allow my sons grow to be great men. Allow them to make mistakes or be successful in their own right. Of course, as a mother I will always worry about my sons well being. I feel that just because they have grown to be young men, does not by any means define that they should no longer receive words of comfort and wisdom from me or my ex-husband. We will be their parents forever... No matter how old they get.
I also realized that I must take accountability for my own choices and live with them. Good or bad.
I'm not going to keep saying, I'm sorry. I'm not going to allow people to blame me for the decisions of others. I am not going to allow anyone to disrespect me in any form ever again. I choose to wash my hands of such people and take the dagger out. I choose to heal the inner wounds of my heart. I choose to live! Live on my own terms...
Written by Donna C. Ledesma
Copyright (C)2010
All rights reserved
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